so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
