i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
