he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
