What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
