You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
