Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize