But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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