Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
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i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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