I just saw a hot homeless man
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
