PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
