Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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