if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
