are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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