And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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