Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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