On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
they need to just BURY HIM!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
