I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
