She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
