I seem to have left my pride at pride
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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