i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
