I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
