...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
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I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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