I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
