There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
