Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
