You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
