pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
