Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
