so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
