Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
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