so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
