I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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