Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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