So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.