yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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