i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
