Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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