I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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