2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
