We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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