we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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