True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
