I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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