i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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