i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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