So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
