I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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