hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
