I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
