She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
