Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
