Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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