i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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