i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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