what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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