I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
