Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
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You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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