That's intense
wakey wakey hands off snakey
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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