Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.