well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father