he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
