if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun