Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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(616): View more from Michigan

Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

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(315): View more from New York

she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?

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(630): View more from Illinois

I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...

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