dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.