She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Randomize
